Coping
Why is it that sometimes, we find ourselves having to cope with someone else’s fortune? Why is it so hard to live in the present sometimes, even when we know the past didn’t make much sense in the first place?
Life throws me a curve ball sometimes. This time, I’ve seen it coming for months, and I still didn’t realize how impossible it would be to prepare for it. Past events have led me to a place in my life where my desires don’t match my beliefs and where I’m not even sure which beliefs I can call my own.
It’s hard to like yourself all of the time when you don’t know what to believe in anymore. I admire my own strength, and I’m grateful for the patience, grace, and strength God has given me over the past few years. Dare I say I’ve made all of the right choices in my life? Never - but, oh I wish to God that I had!
"What on earth is this post about?" you ask. Not regret as much as loss. At this point, may be for once, I’m even a bit at a loss for words.
"This is what it means to be held
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive
This is what it is to be loved
And to know that the promise was
When everything fell we’d be held" - Natalie Grant - Held
Oh, and if you’re wondering, things are going very well in the present despite my lingering on the past. New job at Mimi’s, and my play opens this week - some nice new friends too.
Che sara, sara, right?
July 11th, 2006 at 11:22 am
hello abby.
i have a friend in the D.C. area this summer who i’m sure would be thrilled to see one of your performances. i’m going to tell her all about you.
best of luck. hope i get to hear you sing in person someday.