Late Night Ramblings

Okay, here it goes - a little brutal honesty . . .

What do you do, step by step, as it hits you that someone you once believed was your soulmate is really, truly getting married?

Thank God you missed a speeding bullet?  Mourn whatever it was you may have had together?  Move on - again?  Spend some time alone?  Focus on your career?  Surround yourself with friends?  Buy a gift (not too likely)?  Be thankful that even though you’re alone, you’re healthy, beautiful, talented, and no longer the victim of lies and deceit? 

Sounds about right.  Here’s to July 22nd, my friends.  May be I should throw a party . . .

Isn’t it a funny thing when life gives you too little and too much, all at the same time? 

I have to say, I love my chosen career field, but whew!  This poverty thing does get rather old, rather quickly.  Might I add, by the way, that it’s incredibly frustrating to almost never fully have the opportunity to focus on the moment?  Whenever you’re in the middle of one study or one gig, you’re always studying, preparing, or searching and auditioning for the next thing to hopefully come along. 

As if that weren’t frustrating enough, I have this incourageable habit of dipping my hands into too many bowls at once.  I love too many things to give any of them up!

In the middle of it all, what do you do when a friendship you once cherished gets ripped away from you because of someone you don’t even know?

In the words of Dory (aka Ellen) from Finding Nemo:

Dory: Hey there, Mr. Grumpy Gills. When life gets you down do you wanna know what you’ve gotta do?

Marlin: No I don’t wanna know.

Dory: [singing] Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming. What do we do? We swim, swim.

Marlin: Dory, no singing.

Dory: [continuing] Ha, ha, ha, ha, ho. I love to swim. When you want to swim you want to swim.

I do love to swim, after all. . .  and sing. 

I meant to "blog" on Friday but have been so preoccupied that I almost forgot!

On Friday, my friends and I sang for the Washington Arts Club in DC and had a nice little lunch with the folks who attended.  Our host for the event, Mr. (I forget his first name!) Matis, was a man in his very early sixties who had recently retired.  He spends most of his time substituting for a Christian school and really enjoys working with the kids.  Moreover, he used the word "myopic" in conversation.  I don’t think anyone has ever actually used that word in conversation with me.

Anyway, he mentioned two very interesting things I just had to pass along, before I forgot. 

He said that finally, at about 55 or 60, he had just begun to settle down and relax.  I wonder if I’ll have to wait that long!

Most strikingly, he asked me how old I was.  When I told him I’d be 28 this summer, he asked himself what he would give up to be 28 again.  His investments, everything he had - he said he would give it all up to be 28.

Perhaps it’s time I just sit back and relax long enough to realize how great it is to be right here, right now, at my age.  Okay, so I need a job for the summer, in a big way.  Otherwise, everything else is right where it should be, and so am I.  :) 

Oh, and by the way, you want to know my coolest project right now?  I’m totally "geeking it out."  I’ve been writing this paper on a friend of mine who’s a pioneer in the field of visual music, and I’ve been led back and forth on this trek through synaesthesia, all the way back to Olivier Messiaen.  If you don’t know what synaesthesia is, check it out on wikipedia for now - it’s pretty amazing.  If you want to wait that long, I may just end up publishing the thing (we’ll see - shh!).  I’ll keep you posted. 

Okay, so I’m in a serious slump, and I can’t seem to get out of it!

With all of the auditions, concerts, coachings, classes, masterclasses, papers, I suppose now is not a good time to get out of the serious slump, but boy, what I wouldn’t give for some good roller coasters and puddle jumping!

Any suggestions for a cure are most welcome. 

May be I should just do some hang gliding this summer.  Hmm…

I love days when you wake up, excited to live your life.  I get to have one of those days today. 

I have rehearsal in the afternoon, for a beautiful piece of music I’ll be performing on Sunday night - John Corigliano’s Fern Hill, and the orchestra and chorus are going to be wonderful.  I got to see some of the orchestra perform last night - wow.  Tchaikovsky’s Fifth Symphony has a fourth movement to die for. 

Then, I get to go see my family in Harrisburg, PA.  Oh, and this is not just any family engagement - it’s my nephew and neice’s birthday party, and one of my favorite people in the world, my grandfather, is coming up from Florida for the soiree.  :) 

The best thing about all of this?  My grandfather, yes, Pop-Pop, almost died this fall because of his heart.  Well, the doctors fixed him up as well as they could, and I’m just so excited that he’s actually well enough again to make the trip up to PA from Florida.  My Pop-Pop’s the kind of grandfather who calls me devil and would always help me do backflips in the pool when I went to visit him as a kid.  I know nobody lives forever, but I can’t tell you how happy I am that he’s still around.  I can’t wait - I’ll have to post some pictures - wait until you see my niece and nephew - they are so cute!!!!!